A Woman in a Barbershop?

An "aha" moment for this gender specialist

Read below, or enjoy the audio version!

I have short hair. After my youngest was born, I realized that my post-pregnancy shed never really grew back. My “new normal” hair was kind of thin and limp and sad, so when Jed turned one, I cut it off. I’ve since had some variation of a pixie – and I love it. No hair dryer, no fuss. I don’t care if the wind blows; I don’t get hat hair in the winter. The only annoying maintenance factor is that I have to get it cut every 4-5 weeks, which is costly.

For years, I always went to a salon, because I did not think I had any other options. I subconsciously assumed that salons are where women (and some men) belong. For a while now, I’ve noticed that men are welcome into salons if that is what they’re looking for. But for women – I honestly never thought there was a choice. Every time we moved, I would seek out that sweet spot… the cheapest salon haircut I could find, but one where the stylist would make me look cute-ish.

But here in our small town in Northern Virginia, I have found a new option. We have an all-gender barbershop here, and they charge by the time it takes to cut the hair – not the gender. Do you require a half hour from your barber? That’ll be $40. Do require more time? That’ll be $60.

I found the place because I took my son there for a cut. It never occurred to me I would also be welcome. But there was a woman barber working while I was there with Jed, and they decorated with pride flags… so I sheepishly asked, “could I come here too?” I was relieved at the wide smile and affirmation. “Of course!” So, I made an appointment for the next week.

My first time, I admit I was a little uncomfortable; uncertain. I explained that it was my first time in a barbershop. She seemed to understand. “Some people like the salon experience,” she explained. “The wash and massage and products and pampering. But that all costs extra. You pay for that experience. And some people don’t want that. Like you – you don’t have much hair, so you probably don’t need a wash. And you probably want to pay less since you get a cut so often. Hair does not have to be about sex or gender. That’s why we just charge for time. Its more about the time it requires to give you the haircut you desire. Your hair is pretty straight forward - so you’re a half hour. People with long hair or more complicated styles - they need more time.”

Of course, not all barbershops are all-gender. There are plenty of barbers who would not be welcoming of a woman customer or a woman barber. I know this place is unique in that way. But I am glad it exists – and I hope other places follow in the future. Some people love the grand experience, or they require more services – like color or highlights. For them, a salon is fantastic. That higher cost is worth it for them. But for me – I’m very happy for my 30 minutes in the barber’s chair, and I can be on my way.

What other historically sex-segregated spaces are evolving? If you have a similar experience, let me know!

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This newsletter arrives (just about) every Wednesday afternoon. This is in honor of my dad, who used to call Wednesdays “hump day.” He’d say - Katie! You’ve got the majority of the week behind you already, and you’re so close the the weekend. So, when this hits your inbox - even if you don’t read it - think to yourself… congratulations! You made it over the hump, and you’re closing in on the weekend.