OK - I admit, this is a little cliche. But with Thanksgiving on everyone’s mind, I thought I’d devote this mailing to talk about something for which I am genuinely and deeply thankful - mom chat groups.
I cannot begin to tell you how much time I save because of my various groups. I’m on a 6th grade group, a 3rd grade group, a general informaiton group. I’m on a city-wide group and a local group for my suburb. That is FIVE groups - just locally, for local happenings. If I need to know what day my kid needs to wear orange, who is collecting money for the teacher gifts, where I can find a recommended tutor or after-school art classes - I am covered. The wealth of knowledge represented in these groups is staggering. I send my question into the ether, and within seconds, I have an answer. For frazzled, overworked moms - this is a lifesaver.
But what about the dads?
We know what they do. Traditionally dads go to google or they ask their partner, because dad groups are not a thing. And this is a major problem. It is a problem for moms, because it puts greater pressure on moms to solve all problems. And it is a problem for dads, because it limits mens’ access to communities of support and prevents them from contributing more meaningfully to their kids’ lives.
This needs to change. We all need to be aware of the limitations of mom-only groups, and do our best to make a change. We need to create men-only spaces where dads can connect with dads, and we need to create all-gender parent groups that welcome anyone and everyone.
In a past newsletter, I spotlighted Dad Guild and Fathering Together as two options. (Dad Guild is based in Burlington, VT - for any readers in that vicinity. And Fathering Together is a Facebook-based group for dads across the globe.)
Recently, I’ve talked to three more great dad groups, each working to shift gender norms and helping to build an infrastructure that welcomes men in the child-care space.
Modern Husbands: Created by Brian Page, this space is for married men to come together to share ideas about work, home and money management. I had the pleasure of meeting Brian last month, and aside from the fact that he is a devoted Buckeye fan (high marks, Brian - lots of Buckeyes subscribe to this substack) he also has created a great platform for couples to share ideas with other couples. Click here if you’re interested in joining the community and/or sharing your own story of household equality.
The Company of Dads: Created by Paul Sullivan, this is a place where “lead dads” can connect with each other. I was thrilled when Paul asked me to be on his podcast, and we had a great conversation about what equality really looks like in the home. Paul asked some questions that no other interviewer has, and I really enjoyed finding common ground with him between household gender equality and lead dads. You can listen to that pod here, and find all kinds of great resources about parenting and relationships on his website.
HomeDadChat: Home Dad Chat is the official podcast of The National At-Home Dad Network. Each week an episode is released with hosts Brock and Danny talking about at-home dad life, and sometimes they invite guests on the show; I am excited to record an episode later this month! On their website they say that the mission is “to empower at-home dads and champion a culture that recognizes them as capable and competent parents.” YES! Stay-at-home dads looking for community, this might be a great fit for you.
If anyone has any other dad or all-gender platforms you want to plug, let me know!
Happy Thanksgiving! I’ll have one more substack in December with a rundown of my favorite gender-themed articles of 2022.